The Dirty Work From Home Secrets Working Moms Don’t Talk About
Though none of the lines rhyme, for a working mom, it is the absolute poetry of daily life during the pandemic lockdown. And while some corporate and business experts paint an idyllic portrait of working-from-home, most working moms are fed up with this present form of enslavement. We are waking up earlier and sleeping later only to make more time for the compounding errands. Women no longer spend “working hours” juggling corporate or business responsibilities. Oh no, they have to take it a step further. With everyone at home, family members want you to do something for them.
There’s an expectation we should perform motherhood duties amid working hours:
- Making breakfast for school children
- Chasing after them to get ready for virtual classes
- Getting onto a virtual business meeting
- Helping the children resolve school issues
- Responding to emails and texts
- Making lunch for everyone at home
- Writing a presentation
- Running reports
- Fixing internet connections with the school
- Joining another virtual meeting
- Obeying orders from the little masters: “mom, I need water…. oh and a snack please”
- And trying to be patient with a partner who politely asks for a nice cup of coffee (rolling my eyes. As if I have nothing else to do).
That’s just what we endure between 8 and 4 pm! As soon as the “bell rings,” we start the second shift: evening errands: grocery, dinner, laundry, cleaning, etc. You know the usual stuff. I’m only scratching the surface with this simple version of the daily pandemic routine. Behind doors, families struggle with financial concerns, domestic battery, terminal illnesses, and aging parents. It’s hard. It’s hard to keep up with everything while trying to isolate and protect everyone from the invasive virus. We are frustrated, angry, we yell, and we huff and puff at the slightest call.
So what’s the solution?
While we cope with these difficult times, we ought to develop coping mechanisms to calm the mind and body. Most of the time, I don’t know the consequences of this “new normal.” It’s never been normal for people to isolate at home in pandemic times, as far as history tells us. And I always remind myself to play the role of a strong mother and wife while I cope with my own anxiety and restlessness. However, in my 50 years of existence, I learned one thing about ambiguity: keeping the faith, in other terms, having the confidence that it will be all right.
Relax, just do these coping mechanisms
When it comes to coping with stress, I intentionally do more of the things that improve my mood and keep me healthy. Here are some of the coping mechanisms I have been using to manage my sanity in the past 12 months:
Walking
Sitting down for an extended period is stiffening, and being confined at home is frustrating. It’s starting to feel discouraging to be at home all the time, and this is making us inactive especially during the cold months. Any type of workout is a great way to loosen the stiffness and eliminate frustration and walking is the easiest way to move. Besides, walking helps heighten the mood whether you do it on your own or with someone, like a good friend.
Eating Salad
Like many women, I put on a few pounds last Fall and during the holiday season. Although I maintained an active daily routine, I secretly snacked on carbs every day and soon after, my new pair of jeans felt snug. But now with spring around the corner, I have to get back on track and start eating salads twice a day, at lunch and with dinner. And the secret to a filling and satisfying plate of salad is using as many nutritious ingredients as possible. Throw in some chickpeas, grilled chicken, or Feta cheese and drizzle with lemon and olive oil.
Talking with a friend
There’s so much venting on social media, which is harmful to relationships and significantly detrimental to our emotional wellbeing. It’s exhausting and agitating to read critical comments and posts about the lockdowns and pandemic. Instead, I prefer to connect with a close girlfriend and have a heart to heart conversation describing how we feel in confidence. Pouring out your heart to a close friend can be therapeutic sometimes.
Avoiding alcohol
A glass of wine can be comforting at the end of a busy day. But drinking has become a dangerously irresistible urge to alleviate stress. A second glass of wine is an extra amount of undesirable calories and is considered a depressant, the last thing we need during these challenging times. For that, I deliberately reduced my alcohol consumption to having one glass a week. To prove it right, CDC warns against excessive drinking during stressful times and recommends seeking support if someone increases alcohol use.
Can you tolerate ongoing newsfeeds, posts, and comments about the same topic? Right now, it feels like we are living in a bubble driving us to think in one direction only. The pandemic is on top of everyone’s minds as if the whole world has come to a halt and nothing else matters. It’s making us jittery and impairing our abilities to make good decisions so we yell and scream. Our home is now a “no news” zone and no one is allowed to watch or listen to the news throughout the day. I receive government updates from my husband when necessary and from school to track progress and decisions. As for social media, that’s a bit hard for someone who works in digital marketing but, if God rested on the 7th day, so must I.
Well, these are daily coping mechanisms to help working moms achieve balance and clarity while waiting for normalcy to make a comeback.
Originally published at https://ellemuse.com on February 5, 2021.
