How To Leave The Comfort Zone At Midlife

All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.

Tony Robbins

I was placed outside my comfort zone at 15 and not by choice. My parents sent me to a private boarding school in Jordan in the midst of my teen years, the most crucial period of anyone’s life when we want to spend time with our besties and close friends. I had never been to Jordan before, but we had some relatives who could keep an eye on me while my parents continued to work in Kuwait. At first, I was nervous and timid, knowing that I would live with strangers in a society that appeared similar yet different. And I had no choice but to adapt and assimilate to the new zone.

The stepping stone

I believe traversing the unknown in my teens was a stepping stone to what came after: coming to North America, moving out of my parents’ home (before marriage, a big thing in some cultures), changing career, launching a small business, and even seeking new skills at midlife.

You can say that I was fortunate for the multitude of possibilities to experience life outside a comfort zone. Being placed outside the comfort zone at 15 helped mold my character and my perspective on living. It opened up the will to be courageous and prepared to plunge into new adventures. And it was just the start of countless transformations and experiences that made me who I am today. I am a woman who strives to step out of the comfort zone every so often only to pursue a purpose and a dream.

The twists and turns

Then things changed! I grew older and became a wife and a mother, and maybe intuitively, I needed to stay in a comfort zone — the nest. I had a family to tend to and a child to nurture. It was time to pin down the restless desire to chase ideas and steer that energy towards that little bundle of joy, my baby. After a few years of nesting, the urge to grow resurfaced again, even though my family was still young. And although I continued to work in the same dull job and live a routine centered on family and work, I elected to stretch my limits. I took a step outside the zone, enrolled in school, and then launched two online businesses in my 40s.

What am I getting at?

You are probably questioning the purpose of sharing my personal life. You are comparing your circumstances and challenges to mine. We’re two different people with different sets of beliefs, conditions, and backgrounds. And I agree that your life is different than mine. You didn’t or don’t have the chance to take a risk and do something different from the norm and comfort zone. That’s normal for most women because we are programmed to prioritize our families’ safety and comfort. So we tend to accept the status quo until we reach a certain period and start to question what’s next. That time happens when the kids have grown or when you have capped your career goals. You begin to contemplate if you’re too old for this and that. At 50, you ask yourself, is this the right time to try something new? should I change and break out of the comfort zone? The answer is yes! I’ve been there, and it’s the most empowering move.

According to statistics and studies, women are less likely to take risks than men. 28% of women believe they are risk-takers, and the percentage increases among women, and me, after the age of 45.

But I’m afraid of the unknown.

Stepping out of the comfort zone is like walking into uncharted territory. Fear plays a notable role in restricting us from trying to do something different or new. It’s evident in everything we want to change, whether trying a new style of shoes, remodeling a kitchen, changing careers, or starting a new business. We fear failure. When you have been doing the same thing throughout the years because we like to hang on to certain comforts and benefits, it is terrifying to think otherwise. I mean, why bother? Right? As they say, if it’s not broken, don’t fix it. But it’s not about fixing broken stuff. It’s about growth and self-empowerment. It’s about gaining inner satisfaction that you are attaining new experiences, awareness, and wisdom. Yes, it’s hard and is damn scary at first to dive in a sea of uncertainty and sink. It isn’t about the fear of sinking and failing. Stepping out of the comfort zone is a journey of learning, observing, and experimenting at any age. If you want to change, you have to break out of your zone.

How to step out of your comfort zone

Risk-takers do not plunge into ambiguity without doing their homework. Those who endeavor something new will examine, study, assess, and anticipate before proceeding with the first step. When you have been in the same spot in life but ready to embrace change, you should do these things first:

Research

You want to start a new career in midlife or start a business but unsure if there’s interest in this type of work. Do your research on the idea as much as you can. Talk to experts, read articles and research papers, network, and observe society and trends. Is this something that will be of value for others, and who else is doing this type of work?

Study

The internet has provided everyone access to courses and education. There are countless online classes, webinars, and blogs offering a wealth of information about different topics. I learned blogging by dedicating four months to studying the subject, joining blogger groups, and taking free courses.

Evaluate

It’s ok to sit back and evaluate your choices afterward. Sometimes, after researching and studying, we discover that the picture we painted in our mind is different than reality. But it shouldn’t discourage you from initiating the change and stepping outside to give it a try. I always found that this is the most challenging stage of the process because I have enough information about the potential opportunities and risks and have to decide if it’s time to dive!

Prepare

Ok, let’s pause for a second or a few to prepare your next steps. Planning helps define the amount of time, resources, and work needed to get to where you want to be. If your goal is to go back to school, you want to find a college that offers compatible programs; you need to figure out how to commute, allocate study time without interrupting family or other personal priorities. If you want to start a new business, you may consider hiring a coach and mentor to set up the business, secure funding, design a strategy, and more. Scheduling is an integral part of the preparation process.

Take baby steps

Now you are ready to break out of the comfort zone so proceed tentatively and with slow steps. Once you are in a new place in life, you’ll realize there’s more to learn, making it an enriching experience. When I went back to school at the beginning of the year, I thought I was only studying search engine marketing. But I also learned to appreciate the talent and creativity of younger students 20 years my junior. The benefits of stepping out of our comfort zone are astonishing.

Can stepping out of the comfort zone benefit us in midlife?

Psychologists agree that being out of our comfort place presents tremendous, transformational benefits. Each move I took helped shape my thinking, self-confidence, and perspective on work and career.

There’s no better way to enrich your mind and life than taking on new challenges and experiences. As you learn from these new adventures, you’ll find out that you can associate with more people and become more mature and discerning.

When you challenge yourself to do or learn something outside your ordinary life, you will instantly become more relatable and relevant to different society members, particularly the younger generation. Until I started taking piano lessons, I didn’t know much about musical notes and the meaning of scales. Now that I know what they mean, I can understand when musicians discuss music composition and feel comfortable having conversations about music.

Facing new challenges rewires the brain making it more adaptable and more creative. You will find yourself approaching situations from a fresh perspective which can enhance your creativity. Let’s take writing as an example here. When I started blogging, I learned that online writing has a different set of rules than a conventional script, and it wasn’t easy at first. I challenged myself to continue writing and adapting my style according to the topic. Writing a shopping article is different than writing a motivational piece.

Stepping out of the comfort zone boosts your self-confidence. You acquire a renewed sense of accomplishment and authority. The knowledge and experience you gain transform you into an expert and a respected voice within your professional and social circles.

And let’s not forget the sense of satisfaction and pride you will get when venturing outside your zone and realize that your growth is a seed for success and happiness.

Originally published at https://ellemuse.com on March 24, 2021.